A handful of updates and new lists have arrived. Some first attempts and some inspired to submit supplementary entries.
First up is Paul Clough. Paul arrives with a unique and very funny take on Christmas playlists – a small note of caution as ‘suggested for matures readers’ / not safe for work applies. Some things you just can’t unsee and now I need to go squegee my eyes, my third eye and my immortal soul . Just how many people out there are creating quasi and not-so-quasi pornographic snow-person sculptures ??? Well, Paul’s entry confirms it’s probably a number larger than you are currently thinking of.
1) Paul Clough – Ropey Christmas Songs
Top marks for Half Man Half Biscuit and even erm Eric Idle. A serious side to Christmas sees John Denever bumming everyone out. I’m not sure the world’s ready for ‘Frosty The Pervert’ ???? (the 700,000 views beg to differ). Also, getting the feeling Paul doesn’t like Reindeer (he should listen to the Amateur Transplants ‘mucking around on Christmas eve’). Towards the end we are reminded that Christmas is a feast of plenty, there’s a bountiful amout of utter riddiculousness from Die Toten Hosen and their ‘sort of’ spirtual / comedy fathers Spinal Tap. It rounds this off rather well.
Basically – once you’ve seen Frosty The Pervert this years John Lewis ‘Snowman buy’s gloves for Snowlady’ ad is ruined, for eternity.
Paul said he was dissapointed that Einsturzende Neubauten didn’t do Christmas songs – in a bid to find him something I spent half an hour last night looking for ‘Blixa Bargeld Xmas’ the ‘Nick Cave Santa’ in the foolish bid to find evidence of at least one member of the band having donned a santa hat . That’s half an hour of my life I’m not getting back – I thought Cave would be a certainty and surely he’s clocked up enough mentions of Jesus and Angels to crow-bar in a reference, but no, no sleigh bells or choirs of Children – not that any sensible choir master would let Cave near a choir of childrem, not with that ‘tache’ he’s been sporting for a while now. If anyone knows different ??
The Macc Lads – Jingle Bells (NSFW)
Half Man Half Biscuit – All I Want For Xmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Frosty the Pervert (NSFW)
Elmo & Patsy – Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer
Joe Diffie – Leroy The Redneck Reindeer
Eric Idle – Fuck Christmas (NSFW)
John Denver – Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk On Christmas)
“Weird Al” Yankovic – Christmas At Ground Zero (Pre 9/11!)
Die Toten Hosen – White Christmas (Paul Clough’s favourite)
Spinal Tap – Christmas with the devil
2) Erm … me again ….
I was going to stretch my own rules and insist on including The Blue Nile ‘Tinseltown In The Rain’ as it’s got the word ‘Tinsel’ in the title. Looking for it, I find I need not bend my own rules, the whole album has just been re-released and it’s got a previously unavailable different version which has only bloody well got sleigh bells on it …. GET IN! There’s also the Brilliant Tim Minchin ‘White Wine In The Sun’, a Swedish Choir, Sonic Youth covering Plastic Bertrand (UK Chart over Xmas 1977) and a ropey Beatles cover band having a go at Wizzard. If the wasn’t enough – always the same, always differnt – TheFall (adopts John Peel accent ‘The MIGHTY Fall’) chip in with ‘Hark The Herald Angels Sing’.
And, another list – I’m finding a surfit of good comedy Christmas songs. The ‘Amateur Transplants’ appear to be working Doctors with a musical side-line, after listening to the copious swearing and requests for cash I suspect their bed-side manner needs work. Still, their’s is the funniest ‘version’ of Fairytale of New York I’ve found so far and I can say that as someone very fond of hearing it sung by computers.